The Five Stages of Grief:

Understanding the Grieving Process

Grief is one of life's most challenging experiences, yet many people worry that they are not grieving the "right" way. You may have heard of the five stages of grief and wondered whether you should experience each one, in order, before you can heal.

The reality is far more personal.

While the five stages of grief can provide a helpful framework for understanding some common emotional responses to loss, grief is rarely predictable or linear. Some people experience several stages, others only one or two, and many move back and forth between different emotions over time.

There is no checklist to complete.
There is no timeline to follow.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

What Is Grief?

Grief is the emotional, psychological and even physical response to losing someone or something important to you. Although grief is most commonly associated with the death of a loved one, it can also occur after many other life changes, including:

• Divorce or relationship breakdown

• Loss of a pet

• Miscarriage or infertility

• Losing your job or career

• Retirement

• Moving away from family or friends

• Serious illness or disability

• Loss of identity or purpose

• Children leaving home

Any significant loss can trigger grief. Your emotions are valid regardless of whether others understand the importance of your loss.

If you're experiencing ongoing anxiety alongside grief, you may also find our Anxiety & Overthinking page helpful.

If your grief is connected to trauma, our Trauma & PTSD Hypnotherapy page may also help.

What Are the Five Stages of Grief?

The five stages of grief were introduced by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in 1969. They were originally developed to describe the experiences of people facing terminal illness, but over time they have become widely used to help explain how many people respond to significant loss.

The five stages include:

• Denial

• Anger

• Bargaining

• Depression

• Acceptance

It's important to remember that these are not steps that everyone follows. Instead, they describe emotional experiences that may arise during the grieving process.

Stage One: Denial

Denial is often the mind's way of protecting itself from overwhelming emotional pain.

When a significant loss occurs, it can simply feel impossible to believe.

People may find themselves thinking:

• This can't be happening.

• There must be some mistake.

• I keep expecting them to walk through the door.

• I still reach for my phone to call them.

Denial doesn't mean someone is refusing reality forever. Instead, it gives the brain time to gradually process what has happened.

For some people, denial lasts only hours or days. For others, it may come and go over several months.

Stage Two: Anger

As the reality of the loss begins to settle in, anger often emerges.

This anger may be directed towards:

• doctors

• family members

• friends

• employers

• God

• the person who died

• yourself

• life itself

You may find yourself asking:

• Why did this happen?

• Why them?

• Why me?

• It's not fair.

Anger is not a sign that you're grieving incorrectly.

It is often an expression of pain, helplessness and the loss of control that grief creates.

Many people feel guilty for being angry, especially if the person they lost was someone they deeply loved.

These emotions can exist together.

You can love someone deeply while also feeling angry about what happened.

Stage Three: Bargaining

Bargaining often involves "what if" and "if only" thoughts.

Examples include:

• If only I'd gone to the doctor sooner.

• If only I'd answered the phone.

• If only I'd visited more often.

• What if I had done something differently?

People often replay conversations, decisions and memories repeatedly.

This is the brain's attempt to regain a sense of control over something that cannot be changed.

Unfortunately, this process often leads to guilt and self-blame.

While it's natural to reflect after a loss, it's also important to recognise that we make decisions using the information we had at the time—not with the benefit of hindsight.

Stage Four: Depression

Depression within grief is not necessarily the same as clinical depression.

Instead, it often reflects the deep sadness that naturally follows a significant loss.

You may experience:

• persistent sadness

• crying

• emotional numbness

• fatigue

• reduced motivation

• withdrawing from others

• changes in appetite

• poor concentration

• difficulty sleeping

• feeling overwhelmed

Many people wonder whether these feelings mean something is wrong.

In most cases, they are a normal response to an abnormal life event.

Grief changes your world.

It changes your routines.

It changes your future.

It changes your identity.

Feeling sadness in response to those changes is entirely understandable.

However, if these feelings become severe, persist for a prolonged period or leave you unable to function safely, professional support may be helpful.

Stage Five: Acceptance

Acceptance is perhaps the most misunderstood stage.

Acceptance does not mean:

• you're happy about the loss

• you've forgotten the person

• you've stopped loving them

• you've moved on

Acceptance simply means recognising that the loss has become part of your life.

Over time, many people find they are able to:

• remember without becoming overwhelmed

• smile at happy memories

• reconnect with daily life

• begin making future plans

• experience moments of happiness without guilt

The loss remains.

Your relationship with that loss simply changes.

You Don't Have to "Let Go"

One of the biggest myths about grief is that healing means letting go of the person you've lost.

In reality, many psychologists now recognise the idea of continuing bonds.

Rather than forgetting someone, healing often means finding new ways to maintain your connection through memories, traditions, photographs, stories or continuing the values they passed on to you.

Your relationship changes.

Your love does not.

Grief Doesn't Follow a Straight Line

One of the biggest misconceptions about grief is that people move neatly from denial to acceptance.

Real grief rarely works this way.

You may experience:

• acceptance one day

• anger the next

• sadness the following week

• then feel relatively okay for several days

A birthday.

A favourite song.

A familiar smell.

An anniversary.

A photograph.

These small reminders can suddenly bring intense emotions back, even years later.

This doesn't mean you've gone backwards.

It simply means grief is responding to something meaningful.

Healing is rarely a straight line.

Everyone Experiences Grief Differently

No two people grieve the same loss in exactly the same way.

Your experience will be shaped by many factors, including:

• your relationship with the person

• your personality

• previous life experiences

• cultural beliefs

• family dynamics

• support network

• coping strategies

• your physical and emotional health

• whether the loss was expected or sudden

Some people cry openly.

Others rarely cry at all.

Some want company.

Others need solitude.

Neither approach is right or wrong.

The Physical Effects of Grief

Grief affects far more than emotions. It can also place significant strain on the body and nervous system.

Many people experience:

• exhaustion

• headaches

• muscle tension

• digestive problems

• changes in appetite

• brain fog

• lowered immunity

• chest tightness

• difficulty concentrating

• disrupted sleep

These symptoms are common because grief activates the body's stress response. When your nervous system remains in survival mode for an extended period, both your emotional and physical wellbeing can be affected.

If you are also struggling with ongoing anxiety, stress or poor sleep, these issues can reinforce one another.

Read more about how hypnotherapy can assist with Anxiety & Overthinking.

Learn how chronic stress affects the body on our Stress & Sleep Hypnotherapy page.

When Grief Feels Stuck

Although grief has no timeline, sometimes it can become so overwhelming that people feel unable to move forward.

They may experience:

• intense guilt

• constant anxiety

• intrusive memories

• emotional numbness

• ongoing sleep problems

• panic attacks

• difficulty functioning months or years after the loss

• feeling trapped in the pain

If grief continues to significantly affect your daily life for an extended period, additional support may help you process what you're experiencing.

Seeking help is not a sign of weakness.

It's a sign that your nervous system may need support adapting to a life-changing event.

Sometimes grief develops into what mental health professionals call Prolonged Grief Disorder (sometimes called complicated grief).

This doesn't mean you're grieving incorrectly.

Instead, it means your nervous system may still be struggling to process the loss, making everyday life feel impossible long after the initial bereavement.

Professional support can help you gradually process these emotions while honouring your loved one.

Caring for Yourself While Grieving

Although grief cannot be rushed, small acts of self-care can make difficult days feel more manageable.

Consider:

• accepting help from others

• maintaining simple daily routines

• eating regular meals

• gentle movement such as walking

• allowing yourself to cry

• talking with trusted friends

• writing in a journal

• practising mindfulness or breathing exercises

• getting enough sleep where possible

• being patient with yourself

You don't need to do everything.

Even one small step each day is enough.

How Hypnotherapy May Support the Grieving Process

Hypnotherapy is not about forgetting someone you love or removing grief.

Grief is a natural response to loss and deserves to be honoured.

However, when grief becomes overwhelming, many people find hypnotherapy helps them:

• process unresolved emotions

• reduce emotional overwhelm

• calm the nervous system

• improve sleep

• reduce anxiety

• release guilt or self-blame

• feel more emotionally balanced

• reconnect with hope

• move forward while continuing to honour their loved one

The aim is never to erase the memories.

Instead, it is to help the emotional weight of grief feel more manageable so you can continue living while carrying those memories with love rather than constant overwhelm.

Many people seek hypnotherapy months or even years after a loss because they feel emotionally "stuck."

They may feel they have accepted the loss intellectually but continue experiencing overwhelming emotional reactions whenever they think about their loved one.

Hypnotherapy may help some people experience these emotional responses as less overwhelming while allowing the positive memories and love to remain.

Everyone's experience is different, which is why treatment is always tailored to your individual circumstances.

You Don't Have to Navigate Grief Alone

Grief can feel incredibly isolating, especially when those around you expect life to return to normal before you're ready.

If you're finding it difficult to move forward, know that support is available.

At Awaken & Reclaim Transformational Hypnotherapy, I provide a compassionate, non-judgemental space where you can process your emotions at your own pace.

Whether your loss happened recently or many years ago, support can still be helpful.

• Book an Initial Consultation

• Learn more about Grief and loss Hypnotherapy Sessions

• Learn more About Bella

Frequently Asked Questions

How long do the five stages of grief last?

There is no set timeframe. Some emotions may last hours, others months, and many people revisit different stages throughout their lives.

Can you skip stages?

Yes. Many people never experience all five stages, and there is no requirement to do so.

Can grief return years later?

Absolutely. Yes. Anniversaries, birthdays, photographs, songs or significant life events can bring feelings of grief back unexpectedly, even many years after the original loss.

Is it normal to feel numb?

Yes. Emotional numbness is a common protective response, particularly in the early stages of grief.

Is anger normal during grief?

Yes. Anger is a natural response to feeling powerless after a significant loss.

Be Gentle With Yourself

Grief is not something to fix.

It is something to move through, one step at a time.

Some days will feel lighter.

Others may feel incredibly difficult.

Neither means you are failing.

Healing isn't about forgetting what has been lost.

It is about gradually learning to carry your loss in a way that allows both love and life to exist together.

Wherever you are in your grieving journey, remember that your experience is valid. You don't have to rush your healing, and you don't have to face it alone.

About Bella Rose

Bella Rose is the founder of Awaken & Reclaim Transformational Hypnotherapy. She provides personalised online hypnotherapy for adults across Australia, supporting people experiencing anxiety, overthinking, low confidence, emotional eating, unwanted habits and other subconscious patterns that keep them feeling stuck. Her approach is compassionate, trauma-informed and tailored to each person's unique goals.

Ready to take the next step?
Book your Free Consultation to explore whether hypnotherapy may be the right fit for you.

Important: The information on this website is provided for educational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any medical or mental health condition. Individual results vary. Always seek advice from an appropriately qualified healthcare professional regarding your health.